January 27

Emotional Intelligence – Self Control

Emotional Intelligence, Management, Podcasts

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Emotional Self Awareness

Emotional self-awareness is a solid foundation on which other emotions, intelligent competencies, and skills are developed. Emotional self-awareness. Think of it this way: if we’re not aware of how we respond to a situation we can’t manage it. If we can’t manage it, we can’t grow. It’s important that we have more awareness about how we choose to respond; and it is a choice. Bear in mind, it is a choice, even though we may not be consciously aware of it, of how we respond to certain stimulus in the work place. Whether it’s the one sending a sarcastic email, whether it’s the one being condescending, whether it’s someone wanting you to comply or even you wanting someone to comply, with authority. It could be any situation such as this.

Sometimes, things just fly our way in the work place. We haven’t planned for it, we haven’t expected it, but they turn up and it’s not what happens to us that is the key challenge. It’s how we respond to the challenges we face each and everyday. They can be emotionally turbulant, some can be very, very positive of course. Some can be emotionally turbulant that set off a biological storm in our brains and in our bodies. When we jump into that system on autopilot, it can become a conditioned response. It can become a norm. Bear in mind that emotional self-awareness and our ability and willingness to respond to situations differently, more productively and positively and effectively, really have a very positive impact on our emotional and mental wellbeing. Not just at the workplace but at home and in the years ahead of us.

Think of it this way. The next time you find yourself in a situation at work which may become emotionally turbulant, which may result in disagreement, quite spirited disagreement, or an argument, or conflict, think of it this way: first of all, be responsible for how you choose to communicate, how you choose to behave, and how you choose to respond to a situation. By that, I mean, be, “response able.” More able to respond to a situation, no matter how emotionally turbulant and annoying, differently than you do normally.

It’s always better to catch yourself before these situations happen, but sometimes that’s just not practical in the daily hustle and bustle of the workplace. If you think you’re about to enter a situation with a team member, with your boss, with a peer, with a customer, whoever it may be, that may become a little bit touchy, may become a little bit conflict focused, or argument focused, think about it this way: plan in advance. “If this happens, how may I choose to respond? If they say that, what will be a productive, efficient way for me to respond, maintain rapport, and maintain self-control? If they do that, or don’t do that, what would be a good way to plan a positive, proactive response in how to deal with that effectively and resolve the issue or move something forward?”

Again, please understand, this is always easier said than done. Only by thinking about these things in advance will you then develop the emotional muscle, commitment, and willingness, and resilience to actually apply these tools, tips, and skills in the real world of your work place. Please think, “response ability.” Are you willing to be more able to respond to situations differently, in a more productive, emotionally intelligent way?

Also, think about two situations in the last week or two that have really got you feeling annoyed, got you feeling stressed, got you feeling angry, disappointed, despondent. What are they? You can track them back there, and say, “What was the first thing that happened? What was the first thing that was said? What was the first thing I thought that lead the situation to end as it did, not particularly well?” Track back because our past experiences can be a wonderful source of learning. Also, when we take responsibility for identifying, “What was my role in that? What impact could I have had on this other person, or these other people, or this group, or this customer?” we then start to develop a greater awareness, and when we develop a greater awareness of our personal impact and how we choose to respond to situations, then we can decide to change something. Then we can decide to improve something. Then we can decide to learn something. We can also decide to ask for feedback from people we trust on how we can respond more positively in the future.

Please think very carefully about this. Do the activity, and we will catch up soon.


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